avyaktam

After a long time and first time in Chennai I cooked "Dal" in my room on last Sunday.

But what happened is, while doing tempering, I used Cumin seeds (Jeera), I used soap (which tastes sweet). As a result its taste was entirely different and I could not eat it properly. Then again I separated all that seeds and had lunch.

Actually while buying it, I got doubt whether it is Jeera or Soap. But I did not ask super market persons by thinking they don’t know Hindi, English or Telugu except Tamil.

And while cutting the packet in home also i got sweet smell and i got doubt.

And finally while using it also I got doubt but did not care as I was very hungry and in hurry...

And while eating it my doubt got fully cleared :-)

When I said it to my sisters-in-law, they laughed like anything...

I have a friend.  She is very friendly, caring, fun loving, have good way of speaking, talkative; mingle with people very easily, have a sweet voice, always smiling… 

She is very friendly with everyone she knows irrespective of the gender of the person. And that nature is bringing some issues to her and she is thinking whether her behavior is normal or abnormal, and asking her friends about the same.  Many friends said, “Your behavior is not normal... somewhat different, generally girls won’t be like you...”

 But, what I think is, the people who said like that are not normal. Actually they are abnormal.  They are thinking that all abnormal persons are normal persons so they are thinking the normal nature of this girl as abnormal nature. 

Any person should have the following qualities:

~Smile while talking to others…

~Be friendly with everyone…

~Take care of friends, colleagues, neighbors and frequently enquire how they are and how their lives are going on…

~Be empathetic to their problems etc.,

But “generally” 99% of people are not like that in these days and everyone is taking care of only themselves.  No one is having time to talk with others (even with family members, spouse, kids…)…all are busy with their “work”.  Humans want someone to listen to their words, but sadly in these days people are more interested in talking about themselves and about their work, but no one is ready to listen to others words. And all are almost accustomed to that behavior and in our sub-conscious it is stored as “normal” (behavior).

All people are lacking of “care” and “love”.  So naturally when a person shows these two in their words, behavior, they are thinking that this is “abnormal” behavior.  And naturally if the person is of opposite gender, they will think it as “love”.

Here is the main problem. As the saying goes, “opposite poles always attract each other”, boys who are very silent and moody are naturally attracted to girls who are very talkative, friendly and smiling. 

So, she is facing the same problem and asked me whether her behavior is normal or not. 

In a old telugu movie, one comedy scene is there.  

One man goes to a big man and says, “Sir I am planning to start a new business in our village.. I will sell only pure goods. I will bring good name to me, to you and to our village...”

Then that big man says, “My dear, people are fully accustomed to impure goods and they are thinking that they are using pure (normal) goods. Now, if you start selling pure goods, these pure good will look different (abnormal) to their eyes and they will think that these (pure/normal) goods are impure (abnormal) goods and they will not buy from you and even they may beat you and me… So don’t sell pure goods…just continue selling impure goods like others…” 

That may be a joke.  But he correctly said people’s behavior. 

I will tell you one example I faced in my engineering first year.  One day, three of my classmates had broken a glass of window in my class. Lecturer came and asked all who has done that. Everyone was silent. And finally he asked me. I said the names of 3 persons who had broken the glass.  Everyone looked differently at me. I felt differently why they are looking at me like that. Lecturer fined those 3 persons and they were also shouting at me, “why you told our names?”… 

So, my friend, no need to change your behavior….you can continue…don’t think about what others think… We need not change our behavior for others as long as it is normal.  If they feel it differently, it is their problem, not ours….

I went to beach this evening and sat there for some time.  I was observing sea and people.  It is one of those observations...one conversation between a mother and her child.

mom: see there.... ships with lights.

son: should we go to ships?

mom: no. ships are coming towards us

son: why are they (ships) coming towards us

mom: they (ships) catched fish and bringing for us...

son: they (ships) don't have hands, do they? how do they catch fish?

mom: no no.  ships don't catch. uncles will be there in ships na, they catch and carry in ship.

son: Oh... after bringing here, we can eat them na....

mom: haan... (relaxed from his questions :-) )

son: why is that boy going that side (by pointing his finger at another boy)

dad: he is also of your type (unrelated answer)

it seems they are tired of their son's questions :-)

A doctor and an engineer love the same girl.

Doctor gives her a rose but engineer gives her an apple daily.

Doctor asks why?

Engineer: AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!

Doctor shocks...

Engineer rocks... :-)

aim in life should be 654321:

6 digit salary,

5 working days,

4 wheeler,

3 BHK flat,

2 cute children and

1 sweet heart...!!! :-)

One day all staff in our branch were ordering Coffee / Tea for them.  I wanted milk, so I called that boy and asked, "What is the cost of one glass milk?"

He: I don't know.

I: You work in that shop only, aren't you?

He: Yes.

I: Still don't you know?

He: Yes.

I (with my colleagues): He doesn't have "product knowlege"... :-)

Dear Kajal,

By keeping hope in the words of David Frost, "Don't aim for success if you want it.  Just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally", I am writing this.

There are three reasons to write this to you.

I think... I love you.

I read somewhere, "If you love anyone, just tell that person that you love him/her. To love you in return or not it is upto him/her. But they should know that you love him/her."

As said by one of my friends, after ten years I should not feel, "Atleast I should have tried".

Almost all women in the world change their name (atleast last name or surname) after their marriage.

After doing that, they will inform it to all like their bankers, their companies in which they are holding shares, they have to change their name on their pan card, driving license, passport etc.,

Suppose if the relation is broken (due to husband's death or divorse), and  she entered into a new relation (again marriage), she has to repeat the same process once again.

Doesn't it look like non-sense?  What is the need of change of name?  Doesn't she belongs to that family if she won't change name?  Why don't people let her continue the same name?  You (in-laws, husband) give your last name to your children, but why to change her name?  Let her continue her maiden name... It will be good.

Otherwise, you are not only behaving like fools, you are also wasting a lot of time (not only yours, but of others too.)

Invitation: a request (spoken or written) to participate or be present or take part in something;

The main purpose of "invitation" is to convey the message.  It can be in any form, oral, written, electronic etc.,  But many people do not attend many functions by saying the following reasons:

1.They have not invited me/us by coming personally.

What difference does it makes?  It is nothing but wastage of money and time.  You are just showing your ego.

2.They have not sent me even a inviation card.  Just said over phone... that too when I called them.

Why do you want card?  Are you deaf?  Can't you hear? Sending invitation by cards is wastage of paper and trees. They might be thinking to call you... in between you called them and they conveyed the message.  What's wrong in it.

3.They send me a cheap quality invitation card.

Why do you want the quality? What difference does the quality makes? By saying the above words, we came to know that you do not have any qualities...

4.They did not write my name in the event organizers (in case of marriage invitations; especially).

Do you work only for name?  Why do you want publicity or recognization?  Just do your work and leave the rest to God (Karmayoga :-) ).

What a non-sense, isn't it?

I have seen some people who goes to their relatives PERSONALLY to give CARD.  Why both PERSON and CARD?  I could not understand. Just to satisfy the "ego" of relatives?

In these cases, friends are better than relatives.  They will just come with a phone call.

If you have real love on the person / family who has invited you, you should attend the function even if they invite by email / sms / through another person.  The main purpose is whether you are invited or not.

Sometimes they may forget you(r name) to invite.  Some times it happens.  If you came to know about the function through others, then may call them and ask and attend it.

It all depends on the persons mentality.

This morning, one of my colleagues said, "My husband and all of his friends married the girl who they saw first (wedding looks).  They decided so right in their childhood and they did so.  Ofcourse their parents seen some girls and finally shown one girl to them and they married her."

I impressed when she told me that.  How many people will be like that in these days?  It is good, isn't it?

To happen so, (a) parents should know the taste of their children and (b) people should not give more important to physical things like looks, money, education etc.,  Instead of that they should learn to see the psychological things.

In the evening another friend called and he said about his marriage proposals.  He saw four girls (photos) and rejected one girl out of them.  For that rejection, there are no questions from girl's side.

But he said, "I felt very sad.  I did not taken food for a day because of that thought.".  She might have felt sad.  She and her family might have many hopes... so they went to photo studio... taken good photos.... and sent to me.  But finally I rejected...  I asked my dad, "what happened?  what did the girls family say to you?"  Then my dad said, "nothing.  it is all common.  Don't think about that........" But I felt very sad anna...."

I said, "It is empathy.  How will you feel if the girl rejects you simply by seeing your face (photo)... same thing....  you feeling her feelings... :-)"

Now, I remember one case of my relatives.  He has seen almost 16 girls and rejected all.  But again he said OK to that 15th girl who he rejected previously and married her recently.  Reasons were many.... like education, dowry, looks etc.,  I didn't understand why he married the girl who he rejected before.

Different persons... different personalities.....

One day what happened is....

I had two towels.  One I have given for washing.  After coming from the office in the evening, I got fresh up and searching for the second one.  I searched searched searched and got tired in searching for the towel and finally sat down and was thinking where has the second one gone to.

After thinking for a while i saw towards down and I found that I weared that second towel...

I laughed at myself that I am searching for what I weared....

Similar to the rule "One person should have only ony PAN" Government should pass one more rule "One person should have only one Cell phone number (SIM) on his / her name."

Catch the persons who are using more than one SIM and punish them.

Otherwise, now a days it has become a fashion to maintaining more than one SIM card.  Because of these fellows we are running short of cell phone numbers; 9 series over; 8 series over; now we are using 7 series; very soon that will also over; and they are planning to increase the digits in mobile numbers from 10 to 11. 

This is not the solution.  The solution is to pass the above rule.

And when the person change the state / country then cell phone providers should change the home location of that sim (just like bank account transfer) and apply charges similar to that area numbers.  Then there won't be any problem of roaming and no need of changing numbers.

This incident is recently happened.

One day one of our collegues was on leave.  That day we have to search for a paper which is very well known to the person who was on leave.

I said, "Call her.  She can immediately tell where the paper is / might be."

But two of our colleagues said, "No. here are some papers. We will search in this.  If we are not getting, then we will call her."

I said, "If you call before searching these papers, is she says the exact location, we will save this time.  But after searching this if we wont get and then call her, all of this time will be wasted."

The argued, "No. No. Why should we call and bother her.  First we will search, and then call".

I said, "What logic is there?"

They said, "You are not understand what we are saying.  You are unable to get our poing."

........

........

Still I don't understand what is the logic in their argument.

Do you?

Now only one team is playing on behalf of one country in International Cricket.  These are the draw backs in the current system:

1.As there are places for only 11 members in the team, other talended persons can not play International Cricket.  So they can not realize their wish.  Though they get chance to play in the national team, if it is very late, it won't be useful.

2.One team can not play Cricket throughout the year.

But if ICC and other countries Cricket Councils start more than one team on behalf on their countries (any number of teams.... even in tens of numbers), the follwing will be the uses:

1. Many cricketers will get chance to play the game in International level.

2.Cricket lovers will see lot of good games / good players.  Their talent will come up.

3. No need to bother about if one or two batsmen / bowlers in a team are not fit.

4.Cricket lovers can enjoy the cricket throughout the year, because always any one team of a country will be playing cricket with any one of the team of the other country.

Stil, it the cricket playing countries want, they may allow only team to play on behalf of one country, in major cups like World Cup etc.,  But allow all other teams to play in International level in all other tours.

Think about it!!!

I thougt of writing this post after reading the comment of vijay on my post "Caste communities".  He commented, "who will bother about caste when it is about to marry Aishwarya Rai".

Yes.  It is not only his opinion.  I have seen many of my friends and relatives who don't bother about caste when they get a girl, to marry, who is Beautiful or who has lot of money.

Many times I heard the following from the mouths of people (both parents and children):

"That girl is so beautiful and our boy liked her so much.  So we agreed for marriage even they are giving less money (dowry)"

"The girl is beautiful and our boy liked her so much.  So we agreed for marriage even they are not belongs to our Caste"

"That girl is so beautiful and our boy liked her so much.  So we agreed for marriage even though she is not well educated."

"The girl is neither beautiful not belongs to our caste. So we did not agree for our son's love."

"The girl is not beautiful and they are not ready to give high dowry also. So we did not proceed further."

"The girl is so beautiful.  So our boy agreed for marriage even she is not well educated."

"The girl is beautiful so he agreed for marriage with her even though she is not doing job."

"They agreed for this marriage even the boy/girl is not well educated / not beautiful / not having a good character because that boy / girl is son / daughter of ...some famous person who has a good status in society".

"I want a girl who is either beautiful or has lot of money."

"Why work do you have with our daughter-in-law's caste?  She is working in movies / TV.  She has a good status."

and lot of such examples..........

When money, beauty and status are taking major part in a person's personality, people won't bother about caste, dowry, education etc.,  Otherwise they will hang on to the same.

I don't understand the logic. They do not have a standard opinion.

So money, beauty and status etc., are the substitutes for caste, dowry and education etc., 

There are many persons in this society who marry / enters into a relationship without Love, but because of attraction at Beauty, Money, Status etc.,

"TEAM WORK", the word which most banks uses now a days very frequently to motivate the staff. But there are some points which they have to overcome.  Otherwise they can not win in the GAME of business.

Consider a Cricket Team players for example.  There will be some some batsmen, some bowlers, and some wicket keepers will be there.

Why are they doing so?  Their main intention is there shouldn't be all types of players.  Then only it will become a complete team and will be strong.

But in case of Banks, the management always tells about team work.  But they never give recruit all types of staff.  They always recruit same staff with same designation. It is leading to problems.

In cricekt we can not expect a batsman, who knows only batting, to do fast bowling.  Similarly you can not ask and expect  a bowleer who knows only bowling to do opening batting and to do a century.

Similarly in banks also all are not suitable for all types of jobs.  Some are good for General Banking, Some are at Marketing, Some are at Credit, Some are at IT etc.,

Banks has to recruit specialists for each post seperately.  But they are simply recruiting staff for General Banking and after that giving other works, which these staff can not do at all, like marketing, which requires special skills such as (i) Convincing people (ii) Continious talking etc.,

We know that "caste" is a logicless concept.  We are producing and watching movies about it.  We speak against it.  But still we are NOT doing what we CAN (to erase it from the society).  But doing what we should not do.

Here are some examples.

1.Creating and maintaining social networks in internet (like yahoo, google groups / orkut communites) caste wise / community wise.

When will these people change?

2.Adding caste name at the end of names.

Even educated persons are not stopping this culture.

3.Caste based census (by Government). 

I don't understand what is the Government's intention behind this.

4.Caste based reservations. 

When will we stop it?

5.Court's judgements: Courts are giving judgements like "father's caste should be applicable to children (in inter-caste marriages)".

When will courts act against this?

6.Not removing "caste" column in schools bio-data form.

Remove it atleast from this year so that future generations will not be spoiled.

7.Not removing sentences like..... "our country has so many castes but still we are united....." in school books.

First remove such sentences in books.

We should appreciate Amitab Bachan's family for acting against this and marrying people without bothering about the caste. When will others' learn from such people?

We blame shopkeepers for occupying footpaths.

We blame police for not removing the shopkeepers from footpaths.

We blame Gundas for supporting shopkeepers.

We blame our political leaders for not looking at this issue.

But WE DO NOT STOP BUYING THINGS AT FOOTPATHS.

The only solution to remove them is:

“Stop buying things from them.”

If we stop buying things at them they won't occupy and sit idle there.  Then we can walk on foot paths.  Then vehicles can move on roads fastly.

The business which is not rewarded will not continue.  They will automatically remove their shops and move from there.

Without our support police can not do anything.

I had gone to Lord Ganesh temple near to my office at Borivali along with my two colleagues.  We sat in the temple and talking.  Some girl and father were looking downside and searching for something...

Colleague 1: It seems she has lost her footwear. She is searching for that.

Colleague 2: No No.  She is searching for good footwear :-)

What's wrong with Bachelors?

House owner's dont give rooms on rent to them.  Do they think that all family men are good compared to bachelors? If yes, it's a non-sense. Actually speaking married men are very dangerous than bachelors. (depends)

Sometime someone might have done something wrong somewhere.  Since then these fellows are thinking that all Bachelors are of the same type. 

They are thinking that Prevention is better than Cure.

But we can not escape from the Karma.

I have seen people, who are having daughters, giving rooms on rent to bachelors, allowing bachelors as paying guests etc.,

Others should learn from them. 

Once upon a time the King of a kingdom requested all the people in the town to offer one pot of milk each.  He requested them to pour that milk in the big pot arranged in the middle of the city.

Everyone one thought, "All will give milk anyway.  We will just pour water.  Who is going to find?" and all poured water in the pot.

When the king checked the pot next day, it is full of water.  He understood that no one offered milk.  Then he again requested all to offer milk.  But the condition is they have to show the milk to the person appointed by king, before pour into the pot.

Then everyone offered milk.

*******************************************************

Then I asked my friend:

I: Do you understood what I want to say to you by this story?

He: No.

I: If your friend also thinks like you (I login in invisible mode, whenever my friends come online, I will chat), then you both will never chat online.  Because both will be in invisible mode only.

MORAL: Be always in visible mode.

One of my freind always used to login to Yahoo messenger in Invisible Mode.  I asked him, one day, why do you always login in invisible mode.  Then he said some reply, which I did not satisfied with.  I said the following story to him, after which he never login in invisible mode or as soon as as I login, he will come out of invisible mode.

Here is the story:

This judgement is like a slap to all, who made it a big issue about when Kushboo talked about pre-marital sex.  As I said earlier she is not responsible for these fellows' feellings.  They made road shows, complaints only because they do not have any other work and the food eaten by them is not digesting. I don't understand what is the pain to these people when a man and woman live together.  Thier lives... their wish... what's the problem to others?

Here is the judgement.  (main points in bold):

Live-in, pre-marital sex not an offence, observes court

I read this a few days back...“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.”

Here is my first moment after that, happened tonight @ 09.59pm.

When I was speaking over phone she called me. As soon as I saw her name, my breath had gone away for a few seconds. I didn't believe my eyes for some time and I was just looking at her name. After a few seconds the call was cut. As soon as her name disappears on my mobile I had come out of my thoughts. Then I cut the first call and dialed her number and talked…and time of that first moment was 359 seconds. :-)

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love."

This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to possess it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try to possess it, they demand, they expect... and just like the latter spilling out of your hand, love will retrace from you .

For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

1. Give and don't expect.

2. Advise, but don't order.

3. Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."

Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away....

 for others' feelings as their feelings depends on their mental status and their way of looking at things/incidents.

If someone feels bad or sad about our actions / words / behaviour / decisions, it is not our mistake at all.  It's completely their choice whether to think about us (negatively) and distrube thier mind or to leave it or take it positively.

As I read in a book, "We can actually hurt people only physically, but not psychologically".

e.g.,

There was a small tree beside the road at the end of the village.  One night: (a) one thief seen it while going on that route and thought that may be a police (b) one young boy seen it and thought that is his lover waiting there. and (c) a small boy seen it and though that may be a devil.

It is not the mistake of the tree at all for their feelings.

We often hear, "your father is feeling bad becoz you have done this / you have not done that", "he will feel bad if you won't attend his party / function", "it won't loook good if it happens like this".,   etc.,

Ignore all those words and do what you want (feel) to do and what you mind says to do...

Wife is (should be) the favourite heroine of Husband.

Husband is (should be) the best friend of Wife.

I read somewhere:

“If you Love a Person you will love only that person and hate all others. But if you Love God, you will (can) love all others.”

“All things look beautiful to those who are in Love”. 

But I don't know why the above two sentences have become wrong in my case. 

When I didn’t love her I did not love anybody else.  But when I started love her, I started love all others also.

Nothing is looking beautiful to my eyes except “she”.

One day one customer had come and depositing cash into his account.  One of the notes was a soiled one (cut note). 

Our cashier: “We can not take this note, Sir”.

Customer: “Ye note, mera account me hee jaa rahaa hainaa? Kyaa problem hain? (It is going into my account only, isn’t it?  What’s the problem)”

Our systems were not working one day.  One customer had come and asked, “Mera account me balance bathaavonaa” (Tell me my account balance).

Our colleague replied, “Sir Systems kaam nahee kar rahaa hain” (Sir, Our systems are not working).

Customer, “Unclear balance tho bathaado…” (Tell the unclear balance, at least)

It is not possible to change the attitude by training.  Can we train a Cat and make it as a Tiger?  Not possible, isn't it?  It's mind set, body will not support it to be as a Tiger.

It may be possible in some cases to change the attitude by training but not in all.

If management thinks that by giving training to employees, then can make them as how they want them to be, without selecting the proper persons to proper job, the results will be worst.

Is there any use by making a dumb person to sit in a call centre?  Same way... without knowing the abilities of the person, management should not allocate jobs to the employees... Otherwise it will be like sending a person to swimming competition, who doesn't know swimming, to running who doesn't know running.

Whenever we logout of Yahoo Messenger and login to our Mobile, the status message will be changed to " I'm on SMS ".

But once I have changed my status message manually to " I'm on SMS " without logging into my mobile and my friends though I am chating with them from my mobile...

Believe half what you see... Nothing what you heard....

A team will get success only when suitable persons are available for each job.

Let us consider a Cricket team.  We can not ask Anil Kumble to go for batting at No.1 and expect a century from him.  We can not ask Sachin to  do fast bowling and get wickets.

Saching can do batting only well, not fast bowling.  Anil can do bowling well.  He can not do batting (well).

Some players are well in Slip fielding, some are good at boundary line, some are good at Wicket keeping.  If we ask them to do different works, the perfomance will be poor.

The captain or the vice captain should know to what job should be allocated to whom.

If the team is formed only with batsmen or only with bowlers, or if THE JOB ALLOCATION IS NOT PROPER, they can not win.

If the team is formed like that means...it is the mistake of selection committee, captain and the wice captain.

This is applicable for any TEAM...

Ours is a Sunday working bank branch.  No one in the branch likes to work on Sunday.  All want half day on Saturday and holiday on Sunday.  But as per management decision, they are not closing the Sunday working and some staff are coming on sundays and working. 

Management has a fear that if they close the branch on Sundays, customers will migrate to some other sunday working bank.

You think that becasue of Sunday working, customers maintain a relationship with any Bank and new accounts will come?

You think that if the branch stops sunday working, customers will close their accounts and will go away?

When the entire world is taking holiday on Sundays (except some emergency services like doctors, soldiers, police, etc.,) why should we work on sundays?

Once, one of my friends wanted to find out the email address of a girl, who he loved.  She already married.  He knows her orkut URL through common friends and added her to his friends list.  But she did not approve his request. 

Then he have created a new orkut profile and put one of common friends' photo in that profile and then added her to his list through that new profile.  By seeing that photo she thought that that person was her friend and approved his request. Then he visited her profile and seen her email address.

Passing thought.... Believe half what you see and nothing what you heard.

User 1: hi

User 2:hi

User 1: asl plz

User 2: 23 m Delhi

User 1: same here. bye

99% of chat conversations in chat rooms are like that.... and 100% of that 99% people chat only with opposite sex...

Osho: Love and Friendliness
It is something to be understood:  the girlfriend you get or the boyfriend you get, you deserve.  You don’t get any boyfriend or girlfriend whom you don’t deserve; those kinds of relationships only last for one or two days.

The other person has to be different, distant, a mystery that invites you to explore.  With two mysteries meeting together, once they drop the idea that they have to agree on everything, there is no question of any fight.  The fight arises because you want agreement.

Harmony is not something very great, it is boring.  Once in a while, even if you fight, once in a while even if you get really hot, that does not mean that love disappears; that simply means love is capable of absorbing even disagreements, fights, overcoming all these hindrances.

Love has to be a friendly affair in which nobody is superior, in which nobody is going to decide about things, in which both are fully aware that they are different, that there approach towards life is different, that they think differently, and still, with all these differences, they love each other.

Be human, accept the other person’s humanity with all the frailty humanity is prone to.  Your partner will commit mistakes just as you commit mistakes, and you have to learn.  To be together is a great learning: of forgiving, forgetting, understanding that the other is as human as you are.  Just a little forgiveness.

Out of freedom meet with each other, and the moment you feel that you have explored the whole topography of the woman and the woman knows that she has experienced whatever is possible to experience in the man, then it is time to say good-bye to each other in deep friendliness.  There is no need to hang around each other’s neck.  A world completely free from any contracts between man and woman will be immensely lovely, beautiful, unboring, interesting.

If you are just friendly and don’t make your friendliness a legal affair of husband and wife, things will be far better because then you are not a burden to anybody, not a bondage.  There will be no question of having to fit with each other.  You can have your individuality totally free from each other, and yet be in love.  And really to be totally different in your individuality creates the best possibility of love.